Survival

It has been nearly three weeks since my last post, and I'm just hanging in there. The last few weeks have been filled with some tense times, and just this week - to put all of the other stress to shame - I lost my dear Grandmother, Rose Costa. I'm also blessed that I got home in time to spend some time with her at her bedside, but I am also horrifed. I am so deeply sad. Death is a reminder that life is fragile and confirmation that nothing will ever be the same again.

I'm now grandma-less. My Grandma, Patricia Parks, died a few years ago, and now Rose, another loving and strong woman, has left us this week. Both survived against insane odds with non-Hodkins lymphoma and Leukemia, respectively... and both reflect the strength and perseverance that exist in my bloodline. Death causes such a hole in your heart, and I fear that her death, compounded by the other stresses in my life, will be enough to hold me down for awhile. I'm at my limit of what I can take, honestly.

Well... I just felt like venting to the wider world. Thank you, friends, for your support and lovely messages. Each one of them was appreciated even if I haven't found the energy to respond just yet. I'm still reeling, so please keep me and my family in your thoughts for awhile longer, because once this shock wears off, we're going to need you more than ever.

I miss you so much Grandma... even if I am relieved that you are no longer suffering. You fought for a long time, and you deserve to rest in peace. All of my love... Rissa.