Happy Halloween!

For Rose and Val Costa

1925 - 2009

What I will miss most

It was in her laugh
It was in his smile
The way she twinkled when I talked to her
The whispers in my ear
The hopes she had for me
The secrets we shared
The way he beamed as he watched
The little jokes he told
That expression of wonder on his face
The tilt of his head
Her happy delight in my stories
His magic fingers as he played a serenade
The way she watched him
The way he looked at her
The joy in the little things

These things I will always long for
These things I was blessed to share

Pamela Parks Costa
Oct. 2009

In Loving Memory of my Grandparents

The Luckiest - Ben Folds

(music only)


I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

Survival

It has been nearly three weeks since my last post, and I'm just hanging in there. The last few weeks have been filled with some tense times, and just this week - to put all of the other stress to shame - I lost my dear Grandmother, Rose Costa. I'm also blessed that I got home in time to spend some time with her at her bedside, but I am also horrifed. I am so deeply sad. Death is a reminder that life is fragile and confirmation that nothing will ever be the same again.

I'm now grandma-less. My Grandma, Patricia Parks, died a few years ago, and now Rose, another loving and strong woman, has left us this week. Both survived against insane odds with non-Hodkins lymphoma and Leukemia, respectively... and both reflect the strength and perseverance that exist in my bloodline. Death causes such a hole in your heart, and I fear that her death, compounded by the other stresses in my life, will be enough to hold me down for awhile. I'm at my limit of what I can take, honestly.

Well... I just felt like venting to the wider world. Thank you, friends, for your support and lovely messages. Each one of them was appreciated even if I haven't found the energy to respond just yet. I'm still reeling, so please keep me and my family in your thoughts for awhile longer, because once this shock wears off, we're going to need you more than ever.

I miss you so much Grandma... even if I am relieved that you are no longer suffering. You fought for a long time, and you deserve to rest in peace. All of my love... Rissa.

Cone. Head. Dog.

Antonio Loves His Toy

Filling My Free Time...

Completed:
- Sopranos - done
- Oz - done
- Arrested Development - done
- Firefly - done

In Progress:
- The Hills- up to date through Season 5
- Dexter - up to date through Season 3
- The Wire - started over, so up to date through Season 1
- The Weeds - up to date through Season 5
- Nurse Jackie - up to date through Season 1

Under Consideration:
- Six Feet Under
- Deadwood
- Battlestar Galactica
- Lost