2010

I've contemplated 100 different ways to return to blogging, and who'd have thunk that watching 'Julie & Julia' would be the inspiration I needed to sit down today and type. 2009 was so difficult in so many ways, with more disappointments, regrets and losses than I think I've ever had in any one year. Not that it was a horrible year - I still had a great time with work, friends and family - but 2009 was colored by more sadness than I'd ever care to repeat in a twelve month period.

But enough of that.

My apartment is a mess. A total mess. Papercraft supplies have been moved into storage to make room for crocheting supplies and blankets - a few made by relatives long gone. An accordion sits in my living room, a skateboard is stored under the shelving unit in my kitchen, and oh! My kitchen. My kitchen is full of dishes from my Grandparents' house - a Fiesta serving dish, PYREX nesting bowls, and a (nearly) full set of pink and blue Fortecrisa glass dishes and bowls. All of my IKEA stuff is headed off to Goodwill soon - there's simply no room for it next to my Grandmother's cookware.

In my bedroom, a blanket rack now sits in the corner with one of my own handmade blankets, my Grandmother's flower blanket (compliments of my Aunt Mary) and my Aunt Dorothy's crocheted shawl hanging on it. Somewhere underneath those treasures is a blanket made by one of my Great Grandmothers - either Costa or Sinisi. My underwear drawer (!) now is the home for several handkerchiefs with "E" embroidered in them (for Emma Sinisi), a rosary hangs on my lamp (even though I'm not Catholic), and my Grandma Parks' blanket is on my bed so that I can sleep under it every night.

To many, this may seem like sadness, and I won't lie - it is to some extent. How can it not be? But it's also a celebration. Charissa is her own woman with her own likes and dislikes, but she's also a result of the women who have come before her, and how lucky I am to have these things to hold on to. They defined these women in many ways, and those women define parts of me.

So a lot has changed over 2009, and I don't have particularly high hopes that 2010 won't be without it's difficulty - for Heaven's sake, I already have a two foot crack across my windshield (thank you, cold weather) - but through it all I continue to grow and change and evolve. Not too far from the Charissa you know, mind you... but these things, these women, my history... it provides 'seasoning' on a life already in progress. I only hope to live up to the hard work and loving hearts of those that came before me... wish me luck. And please come back soon...