Saturday, June 21, 2008

Looking For Something

Argh. I'm okay. It's just that I kind of feel like I'm spinning lately. Work is so busy, and I'm great at throwing myself into it which can be exhausting and somewhat disorienting. And then on top of that, my grandmother fell and broke her pelvic bone and this morning I found out that my brother-in-law fell last night and went to the hospital today. He's "fine" - alert and such - but they're running tests. I'm just stressed... but not in a normal way.

On top of that, I've been having very vivid dreams for the last month or so and a lot of people from my past are in them. Some people from years back, others more recent... but that's a little confusing too because I'm not sure what they mean. Is it just my brain reminiscing? Or is there something my subconscious is trying to tell me? I just don't know.

So am I depressed or anything? No. I'm just off right now. I'm off and I'm looking for something to ground me, and that's not an easy task. I hate using the word because it sounds so much more drastic than how I mean it, but I'm looking for safe. I love my friends, but there's that part of me that not many people see, and that's the part who is searching for safe. I'm just not sure how to get it for her.

Does that make sense?

3 Comments:

Blogger Marie said...

you know i know all your deep dark secrets clara bell mccleary...so if you need to talk ;)

adalaide ritter

June 21, 2008 3:00 PM  
Blogger Missy B said...

I'm here for you too lady. If you need anything at all just let me know. I will also send tons of happy thoughts your way.

June 22, 2008 1:16 AM  
Blogger Jodi said...

I love you!

June 23, 2008 12:15 AM  

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