Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The "30" Project #9

I'm gracious.

It's actually rather difficult seeing the accomplishments in your own life as accomplishments, since most of the things you do you expect from yourself normally. Did I expect to graduate college? Did I expect to do well? Did I expect to have the successful career that I have? Yes, yes, yes. But what I have found with a little introspection is that I have every right to be proud of even the smallest accomplishments in my life. Just last week I was saying to my mom, "How in the hell am I going to come up with 30 things?" And what did she do? She emailed me a list of things that make HER proud. Things about ME that SHE is proud of. I'm her kid. It made me feel good. But I suppose that's what moms do, right?

Anyway (back to today's accomplishment), I was raised well. Sure, I'm feisty, sometimes unnecessarily so, and yes, sometimes I'm a complete bitch (there's your curse word, Snay!). That's all just a part of who I am. But what I am most proud of today (especially today), is the power of good genes, good parents, and a good upbringing.

There are some people who have so little self respect that it makes them unable to be respectful to others. Whether comments are made to them directly or are sent into the 'great unknown' of the Internet, these people are often unpredictable and rude. But for self-assured people like me, or like us, our strength is in our upbringing and personal constitution. This forum is certainly a public one. My blog, my life, my thoughts and opinions (however trivial or insignificant) are mine, and mine to share with whoever wants to take a listen. That's one of the things I love about blogging - hearing from people who you might normally never interact with. I'll accept the comments, the banter, and any criticism with my head high and a slight smile on my face. Why? Because my parents did good by me. Yes they did. Like I said... I was raised well. I'm gracious.


Blogger Jodi said...

You are gracious and anyone who knows you, knows that. The fact that you didn't automatically delete sc's comment proves that you are gracious even under fire. Sometimes we learn how to be selfless from people's actions. With the written medium we learn it from the stories people write. Keep going. I for one can't wait to see the remaining 20 because you inspire me!

June 20, 2007 12:30 AM  
Anonymous SC said...

Considering you were already reaching for 30 ways to pat yourself on the back for living 30 years by the time you got to #8, I'm glad I was able to help with one of them.

You obviously haven't been introspective enough though otherwise you'd have realized no one points out their own graciousness either. Like charity and selflessness, graciousness is a character trait and not an accomplishment. But what do I know being so lacking in self-respect and all.

BTW, hi Charissa's dad!

June 20, 2007 5:33 AM  
Blogger Marie said...

for the record i LOVE that you are doing this. i know this blog is a way for you to stay connected with others, but it is also YOUR journal. things that you feel important to record SHOULD be recorded. if someone doesn't like it, it is their fault for reading the way, do you read DOOCE? you would LOVE it.

June 20, 2007 8:19 AM  
Anonymous Dad said...

Obviously, I like this introspective review of one's life. Too many of us go through life day-to-day and never take measure of what we've done and what we, yet, have not done.

Life is a "chain" of events, strung together, end to end, which defines one's life. Some of those links are large and shiny while others are small and dull in comparison. Each however is a critical part of the chain that both holds it together and defines who we are.

If the links in one's chain are to get larger and brighter as time goes on, you have to bother to take the time to see what your chain looks like so far. And in doing that, each link, regardless of it's size or polish, must be evaluated with open eyes.

Taking pride in the best links, and taking a close look at the dullest ones is a very healthy exersize. Sharing that review with others is a brave step towards making plans for the rest of your chain.

Love, Dad

June 20, 2007 9:28 AM  
Blogger danielle said...

I wonder why SC seems so threatened by you taking stock of your accomplishments?

Positive character traits are an accomplishment owing largely to one's upbringing, but also to the decisions and actions that you make everyday to be gracious, charitable, selfless, etc.

And your parents (from what I see of their comments) are awesome!

June 20, 2007 11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous Ann said...

Well, I happen to love your project, Charissa.

I think being charitable is a wonderful thing, not enough people are, and it's something you should definately take pride in.

And yes, you are gracious too! Much more so than I would have been!

SC, you need to get a life.

June 20, 2007 12:14 PM  
Anonymous Maggie said...

While I agree that being selfless, gracious, and charitable are character traits and not accomplishments per se, I have to wonder why SC is trying so hard to make you feel bad about it.

Is it someone you know, or a random troll?

June 20, 2007 1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although those things may be character traits, your not born with them. You develop them through experiences based on the environment you live in. Ultimately, it is a "decision" to be selfless, gracious, and charitable.

Since it is ultimately a decision, making the right one is an accomplishment.

June 20, 2007 1:41 PM  
Blogger cherylann said...

How blessed you are to have two wonderful parents who support you and take the time to appreciate you and all of your accomplishments. Rock on Costa parents!!!

June 20, 2007 5:22 PM  
Blogger Charissa said...

Thank you, everyone, for the comments. I do not know SC, nor do I know why someone who finds me so utterly ridiculous feels compelled to frequent my blog. I continue to be humbled by folks, like you, who read my blog and even more so by those of you who take the time to comment on its contents. Thank you again.

June 20, 2007 9:00 PM  
Blogger Missy B said...

Thank you for playing along with this little project. I am sorry that someone else (SC) doesn't find this as fun as we do.

Sometimes it is difficult to see yourself the way others see you. I know that is what this project has taught me. I had a tough time in the middle but then was on such a roll by the end I couldn't choose which ones to leave out.


June 20, 2007 9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been reading this blog for about a year now and this is the first time that I've felt compelled to comment and I don't know where to start. I think the best way to summarize my observations would be to address some of the individual comments on this posting.


Deleting comments doesn't exhibit graciousness but it does further the concept of free speech. I'm sure Charissa doesn't advocate censorship.


Charissa writes about Charissa. It's navel gazing, narcissistic, and mundane at times but that's what this blogs always been about. A local blogger a few months ago diagrammed other blogger's psyches
and Charissa's was a big circle with "Charissa" written in it. I don't think this was entirely complimentery. You are much more likely to hear her opine about such pressing matters as kitty litter rather than the Sudan situation on this page.


Dooce...really? Are you still you using dial-up as well?


Great daughter.


You don't have to be threatened to posit an opposing view point. I think sc is right to a certain extent.


You write for yourself and no one else and that's great. But you will always run the risk of being perceived of bragging about your accomplishments instead of chronicling them.

June 21, 2007 12:47 AM  
Blogger Summer said...

SC is a local blogger and he is typically full of contempt and rage, so he was just expressing himself the way he usually does. The fact that he felt a need to attack you is just part of who he is and why I choose to ignore him and not read his blog anymore.

The whole point of a personal blog is that you can talk about personal things... be as introspective and narcisstic as you want to, it's your blog. There's nothing small about your blog because you don't discuss the Sudan. It's a journal, thoughts, personal reflections...

One thing I find interesting is that people who study diaries and journals written over the last several centuries, they find that people talk about their DAILY lives... whether it was hot or cold, rainy or dry, what they had for dinner, what they are worried about at the moment... they don't mention war very often, current events are mostly excluded. Why? Because they aren't that pressing to the individual person who is writing. How should we expect a personal blog to be anything but personal?

I think your project is cool. Keep on with it. I'm working on my own list thanks to you. :-)

June 21, 2007 11:23 AM  
Blogger Mondy the Sea Monster said...

To add to Summer's point, SC has stated in his blog that he doesn't believe in global warming and has publicly defended the ever self-hating Michael Steele on the Random Rodricks blog. So, consider the source.

June 21, 2007 11:49 AM  
Anonymous Maggie said...

I can't believe I'm kind of sticking up for SC, since I believe he's being rude, but:

Mondy, just because his political beliefs may differ from mine or yours doesn't mean we need to "consider the source" when he's talking about something else entirely. If we don't like what he's saying, it's not difficult to ignore him, you know.

I'd also be interested in reading his blog if someone is willing to share the address of it.

June 21, 2007 1:56 PM  
Blogger Summer said...

Maggie - I think political beliefs represent opinions as much as regular opinions do... so disagreeing with someone's political beliefs sometimes DOES mean you would disagree with their other opinions. In SC's case, not BELIEVING in global warming shows me that he's not someone I would waste my time on because the obvious is lost on him.

I sent his blog address to Charissa privately. I'll leave it up to her to post. He doesn't deserve any more attention.

June 21, 2007 2:27 PM  
Anonymous Maggie said...

Summer, I guess I'm just one of those people that doesn't base my entire opinion of someone based on their political beliefs. I am VERY liberal, and my closest friend is VERY are a handful of my other friends. They all have many other qualities and characteristics I enjoy.

So to brush people off because a few of their political ideas differ from yours may mean you would lose out on making some very dear friends. Of course, SC doesn't sound like a good friend. :P But you know what I mean, right?

I just don't automatically tune people out simply because they didn't vote for the same person I did. I don't like when people automatically assume I'm an idiot for being liberal, so why would I do that same thing to someone just for being conservative? I discount what SC says because he's being rude, not because his ideas are conservative. There's a difference.

June 21, 2007 10:07 PM  
Anonymous WhoCutTheCheese said...

Cheese is an extremely bitter man who could find fault in Mother Teresa. But rarely, if ever, in himself.

He has ''quit'' blogging two or three times this year already yet he keeps coming back because as much as he says he's exactly the same in real life, apparently he doesn't have or take enough opportunities to spew needless venom in his day to day activities and therefore must find people to rag on to boost himself.

In other words, he's a sad, lonely angry man with not many thrills in life outside of goading random people online. So he can then pontificate on his ''retired'' blog about how very, very much he does not care. Except for the part where that is a total lie, I'm sure he's telling the truth.

June 22, 2007 8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, Cheese is pretty self-deprecating at times.

He is what he is: he has a blogging moral code, and he isn't afraid to call BS on people who don't adhere. Does he need to? No. But I can guarantee that he said what others wanted to say here.

It's funny, it seems the personal attacks on SC in this thread and other thread are more personal than the attacks SC leveled in the first place. At least his were about content, and not blatantly personal. But I suppose two wrongs make a right?

June 22, 2007 9:54 PM  

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