Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Dallas, Texas

Sometimes I really hate business trips. Admittedly, I was not in the mood to come here. Asking me to give up my dog, my cat, and my bed is a big request. Sure, it's going to be 90 degrees in Dallas, but when you have to spend almost all of it indoors, what's the point? I've honestly been dreading this trip for weeks.

After watching the girl beside me on the plane eat for three straight hours (no joke, it was nauseating), and running around a bit after I got here, I actually got to spend a nice hour outside by the pool. This didn't automatically make the trip 'worth it' yet, but I'll take any hour I can get. Of course, being in the sun made me less interested in dinner, so I had to put on my 'I'm excited' face, which was hard to do after baking in 90 degree heat.

So, it's midnight central time, which it 1 AM eastern time - and I'm still awake. Odd, don't you think? Since I am so anxious to leave here?

But here's the thing... I've been eyeing the city lights from my room for hours. I am absolutely fixated. The land is so flat that the city lights seem to go on forever. I have a tiny little balcony and because I am on the 24th floor, it's really windy when I go out there. A few times tonight I've just stood out there and stared at the view, my hair going crazy in the wind. I know it's just a view of a city from a hotel room... but somehow it makes me feel a little at peace. Isn't that weird? Why is that?

The moon slowly came out from behind the skyline in the distance. First it was a dark red, but I just turned around and now it's bright white. It seems a whole lot bigger from here than it does from Baltimore.

Oh boy.... :)
I guess I need a vacation. I'm feeling overwhelmed right now in my life, but when things don't feel right, I think it helps to take a big step back and be reminded of how small we are. Not that we are unimportant or insignificant, but that the opportunities for us are endless. Looking at the view allowed me to feel that again. It's just an awesome sight. I need to find a way to remind myself of these things more often. It's so easy to get complacent, isn't it?


Anonymous Dad said...

I think we all live life, for the most part, by a "template". We get up each morning, get ready the same way, go to work the same route, do basically the same things at work, go home the same route... eat, read, watch TV, play a game, go to a movie... even though evenings vary, we've all "been there, done that". Weekends are a small reprieve depending on what we have planned, and vacations are a fairly large reprieve - but again - depending on what you do (Remember Seattle?).

But what you experienced on that balcony was a huge reprieve - maybe even an "awakening" of sorts. Times when you are able to remove everything of daily life and, for a moment, see yourself in the grand scheme of things - and realizing how grand life really is, or can be if we make an effort.

Funny that it happened to me a few weeks ago too. I was listening to a chamber choir on disk, singing in a huge church, songs/chants of old midieval times. The voices reverberating off the walls, the harmony... and for a few moments, it was like I was suspended somewhere "experiencing" the world rather than just moving through it.

Too bad we can't capture those few moments and live them continuously - maybe we can and we just haven't yet figured out how.

Sorry for the ramblings of an old man :-) Dad

June 15, 2006 8:56 AM  
Anonymous jill said...

miss you, C! safe travels back to b-more =)

June 15, 2006 2:20 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

beautiful writing-glad you are finding something good there. Can't wait to see you here though :)

June 15, 2006 2:51 PM  

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